Post by flesheater on Aug 28, 2012 8:36:07 GMT -5
Note: I have not had anyone else assist in the proof reading of this story. Quite frankly my eyes are strained and I'm tired of looking at this any longer. I'm contemplating ending it much sooner and would like some feedback on its current state. Does anything sound out of place? Does it sound like it's dragging on and on? I have edited minutely up until "day 2" (so to say) so I'm semi-confident with the beginning. I'm considering ending this after only one night instead of (I believe) 3 nights. Let me know what you think.
“The Dwellers in the Dark”
It is the early morn of September 13th 192-: It is imperative that I catalogue the daemonic horrors which have afflicted me endlessly, before the twilight shrouds the earth, and the “dwellers” roam once more. I know not of their origin, though I believe, that their world exists within our own; that they travel to and fro, through corridors or passageways contained within the darkness, as if the two merge seamlessly within the abysmal void. What is known, however, is that they absolutely detest light; even the subtle glow of a candle, is enough to deter their progress into our world, to hold them at bay in the shadows. It is because of them that I now dread the fall of night, and no longer wish to rest during the hours in which darkness prevails.
The “dwellers”, as I’ve come to call them, made their presence known to me on the first night of my stay in this damnable cabin. The moon was full, and bathed the entirety of my abode in its cold, sullen illumination. The forest clamored wildly that evening, as the unseen creatures roamed insidiously, invoking a brooding spirit within the darkness.
Amidst the night I was abruptly stirred from a deep slumber by the sound of voices, or rather, odd noises, echoing throughout the room. What I heard differed greatly from that of anything natural, and I had soon realized the outside wilderness had fallen hauntingly silent. I strained my eyes as I peered into the night. I could see them, vaguely, writhing amongst each other, surrounding the edges of the moonlight. They were everywhere the light ceased to reach, creating an innumerable, scurrying mass.
Their dwarfish figures were wrapped in dark, hooded cloaks, which engulfed their faces in a sea of black. I could see their human like hands endowed with grotesque claws as they crawled atop one another, trying desperately to reach me. I started away from them as I fell against the headboard of the bed; my hands fell into the darkness as I stared into the horrifying landscape. In an instant, a sharp pain shot through my nerves. I pulled my hands back, clasping each tightly with the other as a thick crimson hue poured like water from between my fingers. I could hear them feverishly ravaging the blood soaked sheets, desperately feasting upon the warm fluid. These blasphemous things surrounded me, suffocating in their closeness as I lay there, bleeding and paralyzed by fear. The creatures hissed and whispered at me, their pungent, fetid breath warmed my face in a most detestable way. They taunted the light, tempting its power as they batted at it violently.
The candle and matchstick lain just out of the moonlight, in the darkness, with Them. I knew that an attempt to acquire my only source of light could, quite possibly mean sacrificing my hand, or much more, my life. I was trapped. Not only by the sea of hideous night creatures, but also by the abandonment that I faced within this mountainous region. My screams of help and mercy would merely fade into the hollow, empty wilderness; hopelessness pervaded my spirit as I realized the tormenting fate of my solitude.
That night I remained still, always within the moonlight, waiting for the rise of the sun. Their ferocity never waned; they festered within the darkness like a pack of starving, savage animals.
As day broke and light spilled over the horizon, the creatures relinquished into the descending shadows. Their awful, unearthly cries echoed throughout the room, as the sun allowed them no longer to exist in our world.
My mind whirled in hysteria; thoughts of phantasmagorical hallucinations flooded my mind, beckoning my sanity into madness. However, I soon realized the reality of my terrifying night. My garments were drenched in blood, which had since become dried and crusty, much like the ravished sheets scattered upon the bed. All of the room was mangled with claw marks, their hair and filth littered and strewn about. My hand throbbed in pain; the gnarled flesh had slightly scabbed over, ceasing the loss of blood. Upon standing, all at once the blood flushed from my head. I lost consciousness and slipped away into darkness yet again, unable to deal with the shock my realization had created.
When I awoke, it was nearing dusk. The dismal reality I so fluently fainted from still remained. As I stumbled to my feet, I couldn’t help but notice, once more, the disarray my malevolent night visitors had created. What stole my attention more so, and what rushed a wave of anxiousness through my very being, was the fleeting light of the day. Whether the previous night was in fact real, or my mind was slowly descending into madness, I knew the danger which presented itself after the setting of the sun.
Like a raving lunatic, I quickly began lighting candle after candle, scattering them about the cabin room. When I opened the door of my chamber, I was greeted with the same destructive, chaotic scenery. The sign of their presence littered every square foot of the cabin. Knowing that these creatures not only desecrated my immediate living quarters, but also the rest of my residence, solidified my mind, to the absoluteness of their existence.
That night, I heard their demonic whispering, and relentless clawing only faintly. The luminous glow of the candles lit the entirety of the walls vibrantly. The only shadows that existed were within the closet spaces, which were located within each room of the cabin.
That is where I heard them…inside the dark closets. Hissing and whispering devilish murmurings; their stench permeated from under the doors as the shadows of their menacing claws danced about the floor. Though their sheer presence disturbed and haunted me, it was far more tolerable than the night before. The twilight carried on, the creatures held at bay, and I sat, staring into nothingness; contemplating my ill fate. I fear my supply of candles may not suit my needs much longer.
The following morning I collapsed, completely exhausted. As I slept during the day, I found my mind tormented and afflicted with abominable, lucid dreams. I dreamt of a cyclopean world: it was shrouded in darkness, legions of the dwarfed monstrosities amassed in front of a prodigious altar. The altar was decorated with relics, and designs reminiscent of ancient Kandarian writings. Upon that great, daemonic altar was a winged, serpent like creature of indescribable features, more hideous than humanly imaginable. Their wretched cries tainted the air with an unholy séance, which fell upon the thing they worshipped, like a god.
These hellish visions, continued to frolic about my subconscious as I slept, as if I were staring through their eyes. Though their world was vividly clear, never once was I shown the passageway into ours. I imagine I would need to sleep, to dream, as the sun descended from the sky, as the corridors which granted them the access into our realm became apparent in the darkness; maybe then and only then would the gateway be shown.
I awoke at dusk. Thoughts of my macabre visions plagued my mind. The idea of possibly discovering the means, in which these blasphemous beasts accessed our world inflicted tremendous terror within me. I do not wish to confront these morbid night creatures any longer. I feel myself drifting into a sea of overwhelming madness, creating absolute despair within my soul. Though it has only been 3 days since my arrival, it has felt like an eternity awaiting certain death, at the hands of merciless creatures.
The twilight fell upon the earth once again as the moon beset the sky. Just as the night prior, the creatures once again, returned within the closets. They continued their relentless barrage of hissing and whispering, clawing and scratching as the door held them within. The candles burned brightly through the night. I sat once again; listening to the din of their horridness, as my mind toiled endlessly, waiting for the saving grace of the sun.
The morn has come once again for me. It’s the only thing I anticipate now. I am trapped within this phantasm, this hellish realm, which exists within the confines of this mountainous cabin. I regret ever coming here; though I find my request of desolate solitude even more regrettable. The coachmen had the strict orders of not returning until the first snow fall of the year; for the months that followed would be inhabitable in these mountains, and I was to return to civility amongst my peers. However, it is merely September, and that unwelcoming coldness shall not lie itself upon this earth for another month.
The realization of the doom encroaching upon my very life is now at hand. I feel there is no hope for me, and there is no time for me to try and stop these creatures, to combat their intentions through wild fantasies or demonic dreams. My supply of candles has dwindled more rapidly than expected, for there are only a few remaining.
I wish only for this writing to be my dismal eulogy, to reside as an account of the wretched terrors, which beseech this nightmarish cabin. There are no means in which I may be able to escape this damnable place. Tonight an eclipse is to pervade the moon, and under the cover of sheer darkness, I believe, these creatures may roam much further than the confines of this cabin. I hope that by succumbing to my inevitable death, I do not commit the legions of “dwellers” to persist into our world. I possess precisely enough candles to illuminate the escapes of this cabin; the windows, the doors. I shall leave these lit, to burn amongst the darkness of the ecliptic twilight, and to ward off the creatures from exiting this wretched gateway to hell.
Tonight, when the remaining candles are placed upon their final resting spot, I shall step into the great abyss of the darkness, succumb to their willingness, to their intentions, and walk amongst men no more.
Thanks!
EDIT: I just found this little "jot" I made encapsulating the idea of this story. I like the description within this much better than what I placed in the story!!!
"I can hear them as they writhe about, attempting desperately to take me. They’re deformed dwarves, their grotesque features detestable; I know they come from within the darkness. They wait for you, for the lights to grow dimmer, to dissipate; that’s when they get you. I lie here as still as I can be, I can feel them crawling about me where the light refuses to shine."
“The Dwellers in the Dark”
It is the early morn of September 13th 192-: It is imperative that I catalogue the daemonic horrors which have afflicted me endlessly, before the twilight shrouds the earth, and the “dwellers” roam once more. I know not of their origin, though I believe, that their world exists within our own; that they travel to and fro, through corridors or passageways contained within the darkness, as if the two merge seamlessly within the abysmal void. What is known, however, is that they absolutely detest light; even the subtle glow of a candle, is enough to deter their progress into our world, to hold them at bay in the shadows. It is because of them that I now dread the fall of night, and no longer wish to rest during the hours in which darkness prevails.
The “dwellers”, as I’ve come to call them, made their presence known to me on the first night of my stay in this damnable cabin. The moon was full, and bathed the entirety of my abode in its cold, sullen illumination. The forest clamored wildly that evening, as the unseen creatures roamed insidiously, invoking a brooding spirit within the darkness.
Amidst the night I was abruptly stirred from a deep slumber by the sound of voices, or rather, odd noises, echoing throughout the room. What I heard differed greatly from that of anything natural, and I had soon realized the outside wilderness had fallen hauntingly silent. I strained my eyes as I peered into the night. I could see them, vaguely, writhing amongst each other, surrounding the edges of the moonlight. They were everywhere the light ceased to reach, creating an innumerable, scurrying mass.
Their dwarfish figures were wrapped in dark, hooded cloaks, which engulfed their faces in a sea of black. I could see their human like hands endowed with grotesque claws as they crawled atop one another, trying desperately to reach me. I started away from them as I fell against the headboard of the bed; my hands fell into the darkness as I stared into the horrifying landscape. In an instant, a sharp pain shot through my nerves. I pulled my hands back, clasping each tightly with the other as a thick crimson hue poured like water from between my fingers. I could hear them feverishly ravaging the blood soaked sheets, desperately feasting upon the warm fluid. These blasphemous things surrounded me, suffocating in their closeness as I lay there, bleeding and paralyzed by fear. The creatures hissed and whispered at me, their pungent, fetid breath warmed my face in a most detestable way. They taunted the light, tempting its power as they batted at it violently.
The candle and matchstick lain just out of the moonlight, in the darkness, with Them. I knew that an attempt to acquire my only source of light could, quite possibly mean sacrificing my hand, or much more, my life. I was trapped. Not only by the sea of hideous night creatures, but also by the abandonment that I faced within this mountainous region. My screams of help and mercy would merely fade into the hollow, empty wilderness; hopelessness pervaded my spirit as I realized the tormenting fate of my solitude.
That night I remained still, always within the moonlight, waiting for the rise of the sun. Their ferocity never waned; they festered within the darkness like a pack of starving, savage animals.
As day broke and light spilled over the horizon, the creatures relinquished into the descending shadows. Their awful, unearthly cries echoed throughout the room, as the sun allowed them no longer to exist in our world.
My mind whirled in hysteria; thoughts of phantasmagorical hallucinations flooded my mind, beckoning my sanity into madness. However, I soon realized the reality of my terrifying night. My garments were drenched in blood, which had since become dried and crusty, much like the ravished sheets scattered upon the bed. All of the room was mangled with claw marks, their hair and filth littered and strewn about. My hand throbbed in pain; the gnarled flesh had slightly scabbed over, ceasing the loss of blood. Upon standing, all at once the blood flushed from my head. I lost consciousness and slipped away into darkness yet again, unable to deal with the shock my realization had created.
When I awoke, it was nearing dusk. The dismal reality I so fluently fainted from still remained. As I stumbled to my feet, I couldn’t help but notice, once more, the disarray my malevolent night visitors had created. What stole my attention more so, and what rushed a wave of anxiousness through my very being, was the fleeting light of the day. Whether the previous night was in fact real, or my mind was slowly descending into madness, I knew the danger which presented itself after the setting of the sun.
Like a raving lunatic, I quickly began lighting candle after candle, scattering them about the cabin room. When I opened the door of my chamber, I was greeted with the same destructive, chaotic scenery. The sign of their presence littered every square foot of the cabin. Knowing that these creatures not only desecrated my immediate living quarters, but also the rest of my residence, solidified my mind, to the absoluteness of their existence.
That night, I heard their demonic whispering, and relentless clawing only faintly. The luminous glow of the candles lit the entirety of the walls vibrantly. The only shadows that existed were within the closet spaces, which were located within each room of the cabin.
That is where I heard them…inside the dark closets. Hissing and whispering devilish murmurings; their stench permeated from under the doors as the shadows of their menacing claws danced about the floor. Though their sheer presence disturbed and haunted me, it was far more tolerable than the night before. The twilight carried on, the creatures held at bay, and I sat, staring into nothingness; contemplating my ill fate. I fear my supply of candles may not suit my needs much longer.
The following morning I collapsed, completely exhausted. As I slept during the day, I found my mind tormented and afflicted with abominable, lucid dreams. I dreamt of a cyclopean world: it was shrouded in darkness, legions of the dwarfed monstrosities amassed in front of a prodigious altar. The altar was decorated with relics, and designs reminiscent of ancient Kandarian writings. Upon that great, daemonic altar was a winged, serpent like creature of indescribable features, more hideous than humanly imaginable. Their wretched cries tainted the air with an unholy séance, which fell upon the thing they worshipped, like a god.
These hellish visions, continued to frolic about my subconscious as I slept, as if I were staring through their eyes. Though their world was vividly clear, never once was I shown the passageway into ours. I imagine I would need to sleep, to dream, as the sun descended from the sky, as the corridors which granted them the access into our realm became apparent in the darkness; maybe then and only then would the gateway be shown.
I awoke at dusk. Thoughts of my macabre visions plagued my mind. The idea of possibly discovering the means, in which these blasphemous beasts accessed our world inflicted tremendous terror within me. I do not wish to confront these morbid night creatures any longer. I feel myself drifting into a sea of overwhelming madness, creating absolute despair within my soul. Though it has only been 3 days since my arrival, it has felt like an eternity awaiting certain death, at the hands of merciless creatures.
The twilight fell upon the earth once again as the moon beset the sky. Just as the night prior, the creatures once again, returned within the closets. They continued their relentless barrage of hissing and whispering, clawing and scratching as the door held them within. The candles burned brightly through the night. I sat once again; listening to the din of their horridness, as my mind toiled endlessly, waiting for the saving grace of the sun.
The morn has come once again for me. It’s the only thing I anticipate now. I am trapped within this phantasm, this hellish realm, which exists within the confines of this mountainous cabin. I regret ever coming here; though I find my request of desolate solitude even more regrettable. The coachmen had the strict orders of not returning until the first snow fall of the year; for the months that followed would be inhabitable in these mountains, and I was to return to civility amongst my peers. However, it is merely September, and that unwelcoming coldness shall not lie itself upon this earth for another month.
The realization of the doom encroaching upon my very life is now at hand. I feel there is no hope for me, and there is no time for me to try and stop these creatures, to combat their intentions through wild fantasies or demonic dreams. My supply of candles has dwindled more rapidly than expected, for there are only a few remaining.
I wish only for this writing to be my dismal eulogy, to reside as an account of the wretched terrors, which beseech this nightmarish cabin. There are no means in which I may be able to escape this damnable place. Tonight an eclipse is to pervade the moon, and under the cover of sheer darkness, I believe, these creatures may roam much further than the confines of this cabin. I hope that by succumbing to my inevitable death, I do not commit the legions of “dwellers” to persist into our world. I possess precisely enough candles to illuminate the escapes of this cabin; the windows, the doors. I shall leave these lit, to burn amongst the darkness of the ecliptic twilight, and to ward off the creatures from exiting this wretched gateway to hell.
Tonight, when the remaining candles are placed upon their final resting spot, I shall step into the great abyss of the darkness, succumb to their willingness, to their intentions, and walk amongst men no more.
Thanks!
EDIT: I just found this little "jot" I made encapsulating the idea of this story. I like the description within this much better than what I placed in the story!!!
"I can hear them as they writhe about, attempting desperately to take me. They’re deformed dwarves, their grotesque features detestable; I know they come from within the darkness. They wait for you, for the lights to grow dimmer, to dissipate; that’s when they get you. I lie here as still as I can be, I can feel them crawling about me where the light refuses to shine."
