Future of Flames - back cover blurb

[scribbliz]

So, I'm not exactly sure what i'm doing here. I have to write a query letter (any advice on that?). The first paragraph needs to be general info about the book; name, rough word count, genre, age range, ext. The second paragraph is supposed to be about the book and should read like the back cover of a book. The third and final paragraph should be all about me. I'm a little scared because I have to sell myself, and my book, in one page. Now, writing the back cover has been crazy hard for me. Way harder than actually writing the book. But I have a working concept. At least, i think it works So, here it is. Please be as nitpicky as you want, because the finished back cover blurb will be going on a query letter that will be sent to literary agents.


Kateraina. A true Child of Power. Born FireKin, her once mighty clan was decimated in the last Great War. She has been hunted since her infancy. Spending her entire life on the run from a murderer, she has struggled to control abilities she barely understands. Now, if she is to have any hope of surviving, she must follow a NightWalker far into darkness, embracing the shadows that lurk deep within.
Her fate screams at her in the nightmares that plague her, a constant reminder of the violence she is capable of. Now, Kateraina must discover the truth about who she is, a truth buried for over 1300 years. She must seek a hope hidden in her past, or she will face a Future of Flames.

[PaperGrace]

Here's a couple of general suggestions/options, as always feel free to use them or ignore them or hopefully let them spark new ideas:

"She has been hunted since her infancy." AND "Spending her entire life on the run from a murderer,[...]" Feel somewhat redundant. Also does 'a murderer' really cover the scope of the threat?

[...]her once mighty clan decimated in the last Great War.She has been hunted since her infancy. Spending her entire life hunted by [murderer/group/assassins/the sworn enemies of/powerful agents of/blahbittyblahblahblah] has left her [some description of emotional damage], [some description of her lonely/unaided state] while she has struggled to control abilities she barely understands.

OR

Hunted since infancy by [murderer/group/assassins/the sworn enemies of/powerful agents of/blahbittyblahblahblah], she has searched for some sense of [stability/normalcy/safety] while struggling to control abilities she barely understands. [Description of her vulnerability or isolation or distrust of everyone (stretching here, I don't know her yet)] she must follow a NightWalker far into darkness, embracing the shadows that lurk deep within.


"Her fate screams at her in the nightmares that plague her, a constant reminder of the violence she is capable of." took me a couple of read throughs to be comfortable with. Unfortunately, people looking at the back of the book aren't likely to give it a couple of read throughs. You could put the strength of her powers further back in the description, I'd say before you bring up the NightWalker. As in:

"[...]abilities she barely understands. Harried by visions of the violence she is capable of, she must follow a NightWalker..."


And you might want to avoid having two of these statements:
Now, if she is to have any hope of surviving [...]
Now, Kateraina must discover the truth about who she is [...]
Now ________ being a turning point in the description it is too strong to repeat.


So, in outline form so as to get my suggestions across without inserting my own writing style:

Hook: Kateraina. A true Child of Power.
Meta Setting: FireKin, Great War
Background: Hunted, has violent powers, nightmares/visions (whichever way you describe it)
Current Action: Nightwalker
Ongoing Meta Action to carry into more books: Search for truth/hope/past
DunDunDUUUUUN: ...or she will face a Future of Flames.

Sort of shore up the chronological order of the whole thing by making sure you aren't going backwards at any point in the description.

[PaperGrace]

Aug 13, 2013 11:33:31 GMT -5 PaperGrace said:

"Her fate screams at her in the nightmares that plague her, a constant reminder of the violence she is capable of." took me a couple of read throughs to be comfortable with.

Ultimately I found I like this phrasing, but that I stumbled over it the first couple of times. Maybe it could appear someplace else?

[scribbliz]

Ok, here's a new draft :-) i just cant seem to get it the way i like it, but every draft gets me closer to my goal.

Kateraina is a true child of power. Born a FireKin, her once mighty clan was decimated in the last Great War. She has been hunted her entire life. Her fate screams at her from the nightmares that plague her. Stuggling to control abilities she barely understands, Kateraina is constantly reminded of the violence she holds.
Now, if she is to have any hope of surviving, she must follow Dinan NightWalker far into darkness, embracing the shadows that lurk deep within. Kateraina must discover the truth about herself, a truth buried for over 1300 years. She must find her hope hidden in the past, or she will face a Future of Flames.


Couple specific questions: should i use "any hope of surviving" or "any hope of survival"?? Also should it end with "face A Future of Flames" or "face HER Future of Flames"??

As always any other thoughts you have would be hugely appreciated.

[PaperGrace]

I feel like I'm more used to survival.

Was thinking more about the flow and use of the word 'now'. It sort of suggests a change in circumstance: "BLANK has occurred, NOW BLANK must happen." As to A/HER Future of Flames, I feel like HER might be pushing it? I don't know though. I think I'm overthinking it.

Kudos to you for getting through multiple drafts! It's hard to read it a second time and react to it as though it were fresh--you only get that first impression from a reader/buyer, and while they aren't going to pick it apart--by the same turn you don't have as much runway to build up interest.

I'm discovering how 'pricey' certain turns of phrase can be as I work through it. Using phrase/word X means I must feed it Y as a lead in or build a Z to follow it. Who knew a blurb would be so demanding?! I'm not looking forward to writing mine.

Try reading it out loud to yourself in these ways: sincere, dramatic, bored, over-the-top (eye rolling, gesture filled like you are making fun of it), professionally (like you're auditioning for the audio book narration position), chirpy-perky, suspenseful-y, etc... etc... and see which parts might have impacts you didn't intend, or which parts need more punch!

How's the bio section coming?

[scribbliz]

ok, so we have one more draft, hopefully the last but we will see how it goes.


Kateraina was born FireKin, a true child of power. Her once mighty clan was decimated in the last Great War. Hunted her entire life, Kateraina has struggled to control abilities she barely understands. Her fate screams at her from the nightmares that plague her, a constant reminder of the violence she fears she holds.
Now, if she is to have any hope of survival, Kateraina must follow a NightWalker far into darkness and embrace the shadows that lurk deep within. She must discover the truth about herself, a truth buried for over 1300 years. Kateriana must find her hope hidden in the past, or she will face her Future of Flames.

I haven't even started writing the bio portion. thankfully it doesn't have to be in third person, but what do I say? what info is important? ugh. I don't know what to include, and what I shouldn't.

[PaperGrace]

This is cleaning up nicely. I think this version has far better flow.

It's hard to talk about yourself isn't it? I envy people who can fill up the paragraph with SmallTown/City, Move Regions for Degree at Institution, Relevant/Fancy Career, Move Regions to Pursue Passion, Cat Dog Spouse Scenery from Kitchen Window. It seems easier than having to actually talk about yourself if you can just lay out the "Followed Standard Steps to Blah" On the other hand its all very formulaic. I want bios to make me feel like I'd like to go out for tea with the author. I want to go out for tea with you, so I trust you'll figure something out.

Figuring out what you do and don't want to share is tricky. Faith? Wife/Motherhood? Your place in the world as defined by ________? That feeling inside your head that some writers will recognize and others will roll their eyes at? Humor? Just the facts? This seems even harder than the blurb. Who knows though, maybe once you start it, it will come naturally to you.